M001: Effective 1:1s

One-on-one sessions are a crucial component of team development. These meetings provide an opportunity to connect on a personal level, address concerns, contribute to individual growth and team collaboration, and enhance overall team dynamics.

This section is tailored for managers seeking to conduct effective 1:1s and individual contributors interested in understanding the purpose and dynamics of these sessions.

💡Purpose of 1:1s

The purpose of 1:1s should be explained clearly to the direct report. It is here to:

Build a professional working relationship
Create a communication channel
Create opportunities for feedback & coaching
Improve career development of the direct report
Ensure alignments with team’s goals
Monitor progress on the individual goals

Ultimately, it is a moment for the direct report to cover whatever they want. It’s a time for them where they are given a safe space to discuss with their manager. It can be used just to have a casual conversation, it is here to create a comfortable environment and to build trust. Do not forget that trust is built iteratively & incrementally.

The agenda of the meeting should ideally be created prior to the meeting by the direct report. This will help you to prepare better and have better answers, especially for questions that requires some offline research. Explain the reason to the direct report.

Seek feedback on the 1:1s and often re-assess the efficiency of these meetings and if it brings value to the direct.

⚠️ Not the purpose of 1:1s

It is not here to do:

Task tracking
Project tracking
A status report. If the direct report brings the focus to a status update, bring back the conversation towards the direct report.
A tactical meeting
It’s not the only time for the EM to give feedback.

It is a meeting for the direct report, not for the manager. If the manager needs an update on a project, it’s not a good place to ask for it except if it connects to the growth of the engineer. It’s here to understand the direct reports perspective, what is going well, what needs work.

📅 When is a 1:1 happening?

My recommendation is weekly for 30 minutes on a scheduled timing or 45min/1h fortnightly especially for more senior people. If the direct report wants more time, additional ad-hoc sessions can be scheduled as long as they have a clear purpose.

Weekly for 30 minutes: you meet 50 times a year, 25hours a year. You spend 3 full working days of dedicated time with your direct report over the course of a year. That’s roughly 1% of your time and their time. Anything less than that is in my opinion not great as one of your primary goal as a manager is to take care of your folks.

For persons that are in the same country it is strongly advised to schedule them on hours that are not overlapping with other hubs.

Do not cancel a 1:1, except on the request from the direct, reschedule it.
Don’t be late. Be respectful of the time of the person you are having a call. It does not matter if your are the boss or not.

😊 How to tell if your 1:1s are going well?

Situation	More to it
The direct reports come prepared.	It means they see value in this meeting.
They want to meet with you more.	Same as above, however protect your time as well, ensure they are prepared.
They sometimes complain or rant.	It means they trust you and it is a safe space. It will help you understand what is broken. However, ensure it does not spiral into a meeting where the direct only complains. Remember that as a manager you are defending both your team and company’s interest. Don’t get into a “us” vs “them” mindset.
They are making progress towards their goals.	You can use coaching frameworks to help you in this.

😞 How to tell if your 1:1s are not going well?

It is not going well if:

Problem	Solution
You can’t remember what you discussed last week.	Use an agenda.
You are always late / canceling / rescheduling.	Find a better time.
They are always late / canceling / rescheduling.	Revisit the purpose of the meeting.
There are never complaints.	Ask specific questions. Dig into topics using open ended questions: “How..” instead of closed ones: “Do you..”.
It is focused on projects.	Bring back the conversation towards the direct report. Remind them of the purpose of the 1:1.
You are dominating the meeting.	Remember that the purpose of this time is to give space to the direct report.

Materials for 1:1s

Meeting notes should be used during the conversation. My personal preference is to use a Google Doc that is shared with the direct report. These notes should be owned by the direct report, not the engineering manager. Here is a template.

Action items should be clearly established for both and reviewed at the end of the meeting. If it’s not on the notes, it’s not happening. Leverage Google’s tasks with a clear assignee and targeted due date to create accountability for both of you.

Encourage your direct to use brag documents, not to keep an eye on your direct but to be able to represent them in the fairest manner. It can also be a topic of conversation during your 1:1 from time to time.

Use coaching frameworks to help your direct move forward with their goals.

Use personal & confidential notes (not shared with the direct) on top of your shared notes.

Suggestions of questions & common questions to open up the conversation

How are you?
What would you like to discuss today?
Is there anything I can do to support you in your work?
What is exciting you at work right now?
How do you feel about [ current project ] ?
- What is frustrating about it? What do you enjoy?
What are you not working on that you would like to be working on?
What are you long-term goals? Do you feel like you are making progress on them?
How could we make the team you’re on better?
What do you think of your team’s current goals?
What feedback do you have for me?

Common questions from direct reports:

How am I tracking towards this quarter’s goals?
What can I work in advance of performance reviews?
I’d like to be promoted. What are some gaps I could work on?